Milton Ferry: the walk, the explosions and the adventure.

Pictures from Liz Dixon.  Commentary by our guest walker for the day, Sir Hardly Anyone

It had been noted upon these august pages that there has been a certain reluctantness on the part of Ramblers to write commentaries on the walk of which they have previously partaken.

And so it would appear that I have been nominated to fill in what those of us in the literary world refer to as a “gap” in the writing process by giving you, dear readers, a certain amount of je ne sais quoi, as my Swedish friends would put it, while not making too fine a point.

Thus herein you can witness the bridge and the fluffy whiteness lurking beyond and just below the blue.  What delightful colours I hear you cry, but make the most of it for they will not last!

So we moved on, en masse, as it were, taking in the sites of the profound River Nene which runs over 100 miles from Arbury Hill to hither and yon as indeed itis a good idea to do, because otherwise what is the point?

Indeed such deep philosophical questions are oft on our minds, and should you wish to pursue any of these you can put them in an envelope.

I am reliably told that the colour of the trees along this part of the river was changed in 1847 following a crisis at the local paint factory wherein the manufacturing plant suffered a violent explosion and they ran out of all colours except brown, and blue.

The original plan was to keep the two colour scheme only until the factory was repaired but it turned out to be so popular that the colours were left – although you can see a trifle of illegal green just sneaking into view.  Foresters will be along shortly to remove it, I am told.

For had it been, of course local gossip, and the like would not have been as it was.

But of course we carry on, us adventurous types for whom nothing is gained, unless it is lost (I may have slipped up on that old adage but I am sure the editor will correct me in due course) admiring the colour changes totally unaware of what was to befall.

For the truth was that none of us had read any of the local newspapers which had we done so, would have forewarned us.  And as being forewarned is occasionally forearmed, our forearms would have been ready, forsooth!

However, it was not to be.

For suddenly there in the distance there was a mighty if not ramble then certainly rumble and within a trice the sky changed colour and a mighty light arose from the trees in the far distance.

Foresooth cried one.  Fivesooth cried another and we gazed upon the scene.

We still don’t know the cause but those of a scientific bent postulated that a nuclear explosion had exploded and we were seeing the start of the mushroom cloud.

Of course news was quickly transmitted to the Peterborough Ramblers media office (ie the shed at the end of my garden) telling us to put up a notice that next week’s walk would start 20 minutes late to ensure we were not affected by fallout.

But those of us in the editorial team were not taken in by this of course.  Everyone knows that under the new “stay at work at all costs” regulations by the current government the time off for nuclear explosions has been reduced to ten minutes.  And only one member of the group at a time.

So, and thus, we stayed and gawped awhile at this testimony to human-kinds power of doing silly things, and gradually the fire ball moved east, or that might have been west I am not quite sure, and we continued to watch and gaze.

There was however no gawping as this is not allowed (Ramblers rules section 903, subsection 21, paragraph 4, heading b).

So no, gawp we did not, but instead we moved on fleet of foot, and feet of mud, travelling … well I am not sure what way because given the explosions we couldn’t see the sunset.

Some did argue that the explosions in the sky was in fact the sunset but we were all too long in this game to fall for that one, and there was much talk of bells being on the other one – although what the other one was I am really not sure.

I personally took the talk of bells to be relating to a Scottish drink of restorative quality but apparently, it has a second, far less common meaning, which some of our more dictionary-orientated members rather like to use.

As for me, ancient words are all very well, but sometimes one needs contemporary reports (indeed such as this one here) in order to stay in touch with timeless reality.

Thus we pressed on as the skies cleared and normality was restored.  I did see a three-headed duck soon after, which was a first, but otherwise all was as normal.

As for me, ancient words are all very well, but sometimes one needs contemporary reports (indeed such as this one here) in order to stay in touch with timeless reality. And indeed some suggested that at this point we were trapped in a time loop and I did see a three headed duck soon after, but I was persuaded that this was not so.

And so it was our journey continued via the wild tundra as I believe this part of the East Indies is called, all the while with myself wondering if those back home had survived the events of the day or if not, how much I might have inherited.

Indeed this was one of the more adventurous walks with the Ramblers of Peterborough that I have been on.  Of course following the destruction that we witnessed in terms of the sun’s vanishing I am not sure much of the rest of society has survived, but I have always seen myself as a pioneer and I shall be nominating yours truly to a senior management role in the rebuilding that I suspect will soon take place apace, as it were.

With many of Peterborough Ramblers finest at the fore.   If not the five.

There will be another walk on Sunday and one the following Thursday and if you are not a member of our fine group you might like to join.

If you venture forth (but not fifth otherwise you will miss us) to www.peterboroughramblers.co.uk you will find at the foot of that page (unless it has been moved in the interim, a section called “Who we are, what we do and how to find us” and from that point you can start into the adventure of your life.

Footnote: although the pictures most clearly did come from the walk announced, there is a certain debate being held over the accuracy of the written comments.  For clarity err, well no, sorry.  There is no clarity.

There is however plenty of walking, and it’s jolly good.